This morning I woke up at 7ish without an alarm and I think last night I slept at 1ish I think. Well it may sound long to you but for me to wake up at 7ish without alarm is amazing because I had been sleeping a lot last week regardless whether I am tired or not. Probably is something wrong with Craigavon Hospital.

Well is good for me to wake up so early and theoretically I should be in hospital by now instead I am lying on my bed and surfing internet aimlessly and keep playing the same song over and over again. Not that I like the song a lot just that I am lazy to type song name on you tube, and now I am blogging again. Doesn't make sense (Are you insane? or bipolar disorder? Don't ask me any question further than that, I can't remember my psychiatry anymore) Outside now is 4 degree celcius, I thought spring is here long time ago? I am not sure last week was warm and sunny and this week is cold and windy. I can hear the wind blowing sound in my room and this is the main reason why I am still lying on my bed. I shouldn't have promise to go in during weekend, at first I thought no harm going in during weekend but actually whenever weekend is here you just want a break and I ruined my own break by going into hospital. I think I am exaggreating here, actually isn't that bad just that the weather put me off. But since I had promised to go in means I have to go in soon (probably still laze around for an hour Lol... )

My friends tonight is Earth Hour... 8.30pm k? I am still thinking what should I do in the dark for an hour. Hope isn't sleeping...

Looking Through

After finished watching one movie, I have nothing to do and don't feel like going to bed yet then I looked through my blog. It did remind me lots of things, even I can't recall some of them. Times really flies, memory can only keep forever if you really want to.

I did realize that I seldom blog this year (08/09). Well there is a few reason that can explain this:

1. Third year is free
2. Fourth year is busy
3. Jeng Haw you have a sad life
4. Jeng Haw you have a boring life
5. Jeng Haw you are lazy

Well I am not sure which is the real reason but probably is bits of each reason. But sometimes whenever you feel like typing something, blogging is quite nice. You wouldn't care whether people do read your blog or whether they enjoy reading it or not (well definitely I hope my friends do enjoy), just that is another way to express yourself. Now is because I am bored and I am lazy to do my work even though I know I have to prepare something for tomorrow or technically later today but I think I am gonna leave it till the morning before I go in.

Today I contacted my high school friend, and he was asking whether I am going home this summer and he is graduating this year and going home this summer as well. Then he said actually we didn't meet up for 5 years since the day we collected our SPM result. I am like yeah is really a long time. Probably this is quarter life crisis, start to realize that you have friends that you haven't seen in ages. Sometimes you do have some friends that you didn't contact at all. I was told by one of the retired consultant, when you get to 30s you will realize your friend can be as young as 20s to as old as 70s. Whenever you get to my age (his age 71), most of the people that you are gonna see is younger than you except your retired friends.

Well I am only 22 now, going to 23 this year so isn't that bad. My friend ranged probably is from 17 to 30s or maybe older. Depends how you define friendship.

1 week before Easter break, really can't wait for Easter to come so that I have the chance to escape from Belfast. Not that Belfast is that bad, just wanna escape from all the work So that my mind doesn't have to think about study, audit, exam and papers. This make me feel like my holiday already started but another week to go but this Easter break isn't gonna be as relax as Christmas break. Obs and Gynae exam is waiting for me 2 weeks after Easter holiday and gonna do bit of my audit as well so that I can pass the data to my supervisor.

Tomorrow night 8.30pm is the Earth Hour thing, I have spoken to my housemate and they are agreed to support Earth Hour by offing the light but we want to remain our laptop on so that we wouldn't be bored. Which is really true if not I wouldn't know what to do for an hour. Stay on the phone for an hour or talking to my housemate in the dark for an hour? Well I don't know.

I just keep thinking that today is Saturday, probably because I only went in for 30 minutes to see my consultant then I flee to city centre .Today weather was great except for the strong and chill wind.

This week isn't that bad, since I got all my deliveries done, so I don't have to wait for babies to come out anymore which is good. Actually I don't mind waiting but come to think of it, if you doesn't have to be there and just sit there and wait for 5 or 6 hours might as well go home and do some work which sometimes this is not the case. But I think delivering babies is amazing. Is like waited for few hours and finally he comes and the mother have to coordinate with the contraction to push. One thing that some mothers do forget sometimes is the placenta. Once they got the baby, the forgot that the placenta is still in their uterus and a poor medical student is holding the umbilical cord waiting for the mother to push to get ride of the placenta. Then the poor medical student can go home.

Once 4.30am, baby head finally came out, another strong contraction the shoulder came out as well, but there is a flush of amniotic fluid comes with the shoulder, so I was soaked in amniotic fluid, luckily I was in Scrub but my socks couldn't escape I have to take it off and go home without wearing socks. Then I have to wash myself thoroughly early in the morning before I can get to my bed and sleep....

NB: by the way I saw the newborn triplets, they are tiny but cute...

Earth Hour

28th of March 2008, 8.30 pm off your light for an hour to support Earth Hour... I am thinking of doing so but have to talk to my housemate.... Well if you see this then get back to me k? (I mean my housemate)...

Jeng Haw stop procrastinating and be more organized...

Jeng Haw Stop Complaining....

Obs and Gynae

This week I started my new posting and today is my 2nd day in the hospital for Obs and Gynae. I think I like the obs part but not so for the gynae part. Today I took part in C- Section of a mother, is like so great. Open the uterus, penetrate the membrane, take out the baby.

Once the baby is out, she started to cry and her hands and legs are moving, she will just grap your index finger which is covered with sterile glove. Is so amazing that when the baby is delivered safely, the whole theatre changed from tension and serious atmosphere to a cheerful atmostphere. A new life welcome to the world.

Baby's mother and father can't wait to see the baby and hold the baby. First bonding between the baby and the parent. Life is really great and amazing.

Pointless

Alarm went off this morning, my brain was telling me that I should wake up and get to library and study. Please don't think that I am a nerd, my exam is in 3 days time and I got to travel down to Dungannon (an hour away from Belfast) tomorrow for a full day simulator teaching. When my brain was trying to send out all sort of signal to my reticular formation to make me awake, my skeletal muscle refused to move. Eventually this occurred for 30 minutes and finally both my brain and muscle decided to move.....

Looked at my notes and books, I have no idea whether I am on the right track or not, I am not sure whether I have covered the right topic and I hope that I am going to cover most of the topic.

The bad thing about studied at home is you will distract by your laptop... ( I bet everyone will agree with me....) I ended up blogging after so long...

Exam and exam, sometimes I just wonder how many years of exam do I have to sit before it comes to the end. Honestly I don't know, I don't have a clue for this question.

Obviously I am blogging aimlessly, every paragraph is just talking about random stuff...

If you didn't break any rules before in your life, does it mean that you have a boring life?

I am not sure about the answer but I am certain that I need to stop typing something pointless and go back to my notes.....

Knocking on Heaven's Door

This blog need a break....

I need a break

2009

To all my friends,

Happy New Year..

Happy 2009..

Probably now is already 2009 at your place but in Rome is still 6.13pm and can't wait for the countdown later... Going home tomorrow....

Hopefully I will update my blog after the trip...

Happy New Year

Cure for AIDS?

Reading the news and this caught my attention. It was on Sky News this noon as well...

Doctors say marrow transplant may have cured AIDS

Hopefully is true....

Fire Alarm

There is 5 peoples staying in my house...

My "lovely" housemate 1 went to peripheral hospital for posting so he/she isn't in tonight.

The rest of us (4) having dinner at home.

My "lovely" housemate 2 finished his/her dinner and said not enough so he/she decided to make toast. Guess what, he/she burnt it. I thought like okay only waste 2 pieces of bread. But I heard some funny sound in the house. My "lovely" housemate 2 said OMG fire alarm went off. I thought the house fire alarm wasn't working. But my "lovely" housemate 2 acted calm and walked towards the alarm. So we thought my "lovely" housemate 2 did experience before, that why we didn't go with him/her. But waited for few minutes and it didn't seem right. So I went there as well..

No matter what I do, I couldn't turn it off. I opened the door and I am glad that fire brigades didn't come to my house.

I have to call my landlord, for once, my "lovely" housemate 3 appeared in front of me with my handphone really fast and with the right handphone because only one of my handphone had his number. So I called him...

I: Hey T, sorry to bother you...
T: Jeng How are you... What's that noise?
I: Sorry can I ask how to deactivate the fire alarm?
T: Jeng!!! Are you trying to burn my house??
I: Oh no... my housemate burnt the toast...
T: Jeng... don't burn my house k?
I: So how to off it?
T: Turn the key and press the reset button...
I: Okay I will do it........ Oh it doesn't work...
T: Oh you try again.... I will come down now...

(I tried to press again and it finally gone off)

I: Oh the alarm is stopped... So sorry for the trouble...
T: Oh great... is ok not your fault...

I am like....

Then all of us back to the dining table... I am like... OMG.. How can I face T again in the future?

My "lovely" housemate 4 was eating his/her chocolate cupcake, the box said a cupcake a day will make your grumpy away. So my "lovely" housemate 4 offered me one and I ate it. After eating, my "lovely" housemate 3 looking at the box to look for calories. And he/she said:"If I said this out, I will make the situation worse... The cupcake expired last week."

I am like WHAT.......

That what happen in my house...

"Long" Weekend Break

Counting down before my holiday ending... Another 24 hours and my "long" weekend break is going to over. Did my pscyhiatry exam and now waiting for my oncology to start and exam for oncology in 2 weeks time. I think psychiatry is quite free but I had been away from Belfast for 5 weeks.. so couldn't online and update my blog. Oh wait.. I think I did update one though...

First week: Teaching in Belfast... Nothing much.. except for the pig test...

Second week: Clinical attachment started in one of the psychiatry hospital outside Belfast.. Don't think I am going to tell the name.... My first morning in the hospital.... First time in my life walking down the psychiatry ward corridor. I told myself in my mind, it is just like a usual ward with lots of locks and you need key to get through all the door. Nothing to worry about. At the moment that I thought I am safe in there, one incident did happen on me. This really terrified me... I was shocked and stunned for the whole morning. I don't think I should say what happen, anyway I don't think he mean it, and he couldn't control himself as well.

Third week: Oh gosh.. same guy again... but he didn't do anything to me this time...

Fourth week: A patient questions that I got a sexual problem by shaking my hand. Another patient having "sitting" problem with me. Making me feel miserable during wardround.

Fifth week: Same patient had the same "sitting" problem with me...

Sixth week: Last week, so I didn't travel down to hospital instead I stayed home and prepared for my exam.

Last Thursday, my psychiatry exam officially over. I have 3 days break.

I didn't do much during this long weekend break. After exam, I decided to bake a cake, Nutella cinnamon cake, it turned out fine i think but not great. The reason that I bake a cake is to feed my housemates who are counting calories all the time and I fed them with baked carbonara and the cake to make them fat... haha.... After the cake, I rearranged my "new" room because I don't like the arrangement. Anyway still consider new, I shifted to this house in June. One thing my house is freaking cold.

Then did my bank and phone stuff on Friday which I didn't do during my exam time.

Today I went down to city centre and finally I got myself a winter cap.. Finally, I had been looking for a winter cap for a year and I couldn't find any because all of them make me look like I am allien....

Now, I am wondering what should I do after this post. Should I go to sleep?

By the way, MSSNI agm held on Friday and I had officially step down which I am glad with.. haha... no responsibility.... I bet all other commitees felt the same as me too...

LIFE

Third week of psychiatry and I have spent 2 weeks in the psychiatric hospital, 3 more weeks to go before I officially finish my psychiatry posting.

See lots of things in psychiatry...

Can't share here... Everything is private and confidential...

But....

Life is amazing and priceless... but isn't worthless....

There are tonnes of people treating their life like SXXT.

Always choose to end their life for some minor reason or for something that not even worth a penny....

Please appreciate your own life and don't intend to end your life at all...

If you choose to commit suicide, the outcome will be either you rescue by somebody and sent to a psychiatric hospital or you did kill yourself. Then you will be lying in the coffin and don't feel anything. But you make you family feel sad and they might get ill which may affect the rest of their life which I had seen tonnes of them during this 2 weeks. (I mean they may get severe depression or psychotic depression even)

So don't end your life because your life doesn't go the way that you want.

Personality Test

Back in Belfast. Class officially started and I start with psychiatry.
Psychiatry so far I am not sure what's my perception about it.
But first week of lecture, I did make a good look at 500g cannabis, 1kg cocaine, 500g heroin and few pieces of LSD (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide). Due to the cocaine leak out from the bag, my hand got some cocaine... but I wash my hand instead of sniffing it....
Then during lecture, we were told to do a personality test.....

Do you wanna do? Is very easy and it take less than a minute.

Just follow the instruction and remember don't scroll down if you haven't finish drawing. I feel like the test is quite accurate...

First of all, take one piece of paper (when I said one piece of paper I hope you use something like A4 not like really small piece of paper or receipt).

And draw a pig.... You can take your time if you want... but don't take too long...






Done???

Not yet???

Don't be too picky...

This the pig that I drew.... The second one and the first one are the same. And I know that my pig isn't that nice... or maybe doesn't look like a pig at all.. haha...

• If the pig is drawn to the top of the paper, you are positive and optimistic. Towards the middle, you are realistic. Towards the bottom, you are pessimistic and have a tendency to behave negatively.
• If the pig is facing left, you believe in tradition, are friendly and remember dates (birthdays etc). Facing right, you are innovative and active, but don't have a strong sense of family, nor do you always remember dates.Facing front (looking at you), you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions
• With lots of details, you are analytical, cautious and distrustful.With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk taker.
• With less than 4 legs showing, you are insecure or are living through a period of major change.With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn and stick to your idealsIf you have drawn more than 4 legs, you are stupid.
• The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. The bigger the better.
• The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life, and once again the longer, the better......

So what do you think now????

Free Loop

Finally my third year of my medicine course is over....

I was looking through my blog and I didn't update it since my surgery posting which is 4 months ago.

I just trying to recap what I did for the past 4 months...

2 months of general medicine posting

1 week of study break

2 weeks of exams

2 weeks of result waiting period

2 weeks in Malaysia

So total up is roughly 4 months right?

Let starts with my general medicine posting...

During my posting, I only spent few hours in the hospital and my long day during my posting was Monday and only for 3 weeks because I stayed back for the nights to clerk my case and get my report done after the long day of class then the rest of the weeks I only turned up for hospital teaching which vary from 0 to 4 hours a day. The rest of the time I was studying at home or library. At first I was studying in the library but when other the exam date getting nearer then the libraries were very pack with other students as well and very noisy so at the end I chose to stay in my room and study.The problems that I studied in my room are the noise level and the fire alarm. The highest record was 3 times in a week of fire alarm and it was supposed to be 4 for me but I went to hospital and escaped from one of it. One of the fire alarm occurred at 4am during the weekdays and I was asleep after a long day in hospital and revision. The cause of the fire alarm was some stupid idiot broke the fire alarm glass.. About the noise level, which was pretty interesting a GUY CRIED loudly in his room with tonnes of friends in his room. And not all the people understand why is he crying due to language barrier but I understood. So lets guess which country is this guy from? By the way not Malaysian so have a nice guess... The whole flat knew and heard this guy cried. And I don't think is nice to reveal why he was crying anyway....And same people same geng had a party the night before my exam. My toughest paper among all my papers.. The party started at 12am so basically is the same day not the night before. I couldn't sleep till 3.... Luckily I managed to get through that paper...

After exam, talked about the fun time and half relaxed time that I had....

Shift house... Finally no more halls lifestyle...
A nice and comfortable house... But no internet yet that why I couldn't update my blog after my exam.. so is not my fault.. haha
I didn't really travel anywhere after my exam.. Sorry to everyone that I suddenly pulled out from the Paris trip(post exam trip) before the exam probably due to exam stress and didn't join the Paris and Belgium trip as well... I went over to visit my sister in Liverpool who I managed to meet up only twice a year....

Then here it comes the fully relaxed time because the result is out the day before I flew back to Malaysia. I am so glad that I managed to make it. I had a pleasant flight home with 10 hours of transit time in Heathrow.

Finally I am back home... I am so excited...
Finanly I am home...
Malaysian food...
Weather is warm here but I think I will use to it soon enough...

Thanks to the raise in petrol price...
My airticket went up... So once a year to Malaysia is set for me....
The food price in Malaysia went up as well...

Currently I am in KL but I am going back to Ipoh tomorrow...
Came down 2 days ago to meet up with friends..
Have a great time catching up with them...
By the way, Get Smart is funny...

Jennifer Rafferty 'Did you love me, the way I loved you?'

General Surgery

Finally 6 weeks of surgery posting is over, is my longest ever posting so far but medicine is going to be 7 weeks. During these 6 weeks, times really fly is just like a week just over while u did nothing. My class is only from Monday to Thursday every week from morning 9 to 12.30 or 11.30 except that when you need to get a case and attend to observe the surgery. Today is the last day, only Rebecca and I turned up and the doctors are busy as well. So both of us went home after tea break and just make me feel like... Wake up early in the morning, change to formal clothes, walk to hospital and have a cup of coffee and scone and get home.... haha.... Partly due to I am lazy and don't feel like seeing patient or I am too sleepy for any questioning session during bedside teaching. Honestly I did enjoy my surgery posting, very good teaching in Royal really glad that got my attachment in Royal.

Now my holiday for Easter is officially started, 3 weeks break, think of going back to Malaysia but is like no point due to I need to study and summer is coming soon as well. My brilliant friends in Melbourne suggested that I should go over during 3 weeks of Easter. If I can make it to Australia and don't go home, what would my family think about me and I really need to study during this holiday. My 3rd year final is coming soon as well. I was told that there is a trip to Prague I nearly wanted to go but end up I hold myself back because I need to study as well. So my Easter holiday will be in Belfast, stay put in my house hope to get some work done. No traveling or maybe the furthest I can go now is Dublin or maybe go over to England or Scotland.

I bid something from eBay and I won. Now I am so pissed from the seller, he took 2 weeks to post out the items or maybe 3 weeks I don't know. I bid it last Monday and until now he still didn't send out the item. I like XXX and he just gave me a very unreasonable excuse. OMG how on earth have this kind of people. AXXXXXE.

Suddenly I forgot my own blog address, I type jeng.blogspot.com in my MSN tag then it looks weird to me. Then I have to check my address in the webpage. OMG probably now I am so lack of sleep. Probably I will go back to bed after this post.

I called a friend of mine in Malaysia yesterday because is her birthday and she told me some shock news happened among my friends in my Malaysia med school. I am shocked to hear that but what to do. Maybe this is life... Their life.. or our life... just life...

Lately, I am so sick of my own cooking, is just that everything cook almost the same thing. I am a bad cook and I am very lazy to cook as well. Always use the recipe that just throw everything in meat and vegetables in and cook together. Save time and energy.

Sorry if this post a bit crappy, something bothering me in my mind lately.

March: Happy Birthday Everyone....

2nd March: Happy Birthday Lay Ping

5th March: Happy Birthday Phaik Har

7th March: Happy Birthday Jian Wei

9th March: Happy Birthday Shio Yen

13th March: Happy Birthday Keren Lim
Happy Birthday Jay Low

17th March: Happy Birthday Hsiu Yinn

Just Ignore This

These few days I feel like blogging but I have nothing to blog about.... But I feel like typing something on this site... haha...

Let see what can I said or what can I update...
(I realized point form always the best when you wanna crap something, nothing to write or too many things to write)

Update:

• Easter holiday is coming and is 2 and half weeks away. I have 3 weeks break but amazing that I didn't travel like Christmas Holiday. All this thanks to my final exam I think..
• Probably will travel around Belfast and Dublin as well... Not sure yet....
• 4th week of surgery, probably due to half day all the time in the hospital so I felt like I just started my surgery posting. Compare to my 3 weeks Infectious Disease posting (full day everyday) I feel like I been there almost 1 month after the 1st week. But I enjoy the surgery posting...
  
• I had a hair cut last Friday... My second haircut since I came... ( I can't make the same hairstyle as this... So is a different one now)
  

• Patrick's birthday 2 weeks ago, he got drunk. I was drunk as well....
  
• Chinese New Year officially over last week, out of 15 days I think I had celebration dinner more than half of the whole chinese new year... ( Gain weight...)
• The weather is driving me crazy... 2 weeks ago the weather was -5 or -3 degree Celcius, last week 10 degree celcius, this week 5 degree celcius plus strong wind..

Something random:

• Shio Yen is ENJOYING herself in Australia with XXXXXX by using her skype phone. So IMU dude don't call her skype even though you can see her online 24/7. She needs to reserve the minutes for XXXXXX. Later she scold you if you skype with her. (NB: I called her last week... Sigh... guess what happen? :P)
• Reika is working hard for her first PBL in Melb... And she just kept complaining about her internet...
• Jay dye his hair.... (guess what the colour?)
• Patrick always behave the same way when he is drunk... smile and laughing all the time
• San Fui is pissed by her "protocol" GP... Which at the end, she wasn't treated by the GP at all...
• I think I am too bored and just being LXXE so just ignore this post.
  

Actually I am quite busy this week, so didn't go out and nothing really happen or nothing special to talk about...

10 minutes before I need to leave the house for class. I need to be in the hospital by 9 today or everyday. I so wish that I can sleep longer, I am so deprived of sleep now. Every morning I will just off my alarm and set it half an hour later (basically it is my breakfast time), so I will either skip breakfast or have my breakfast in the hospital which is scone and coffee. No matter what, coffee is the most important thing to keep my brain functioning the whole day. Just now I was thinking whether I should skip class since there is only 2 hours class today which will be bedside teaching, but I am not going to do anything either at home so might as well go for it. And now here I am, everything is ready and wait for the time to come. I have no idea what am I typing.. And why am I blogging early in the morning?

After all, I am not as cold hearted as I thought before this.

Chinese New Year

This year is the first time that I celebrating chinese new year away from home. I still remember last few years when Chinese New Year I got no chinese new year feeling and don't really feel excited about it maybe because I had grown up. This year is different, Chinese New Year bring a different meaning for me. This year Chinese New Year really mean family reunion to me, I miss home, I miss the Chinese New Year situation and atmosphere back home. I miss seeing my family members and having dinner together especially reunion dinner. Then watched the advertisement about Chinese New Year on you tube. I like the Petronas 2008 CNY advertisement.

" BE HOME FOR REUNION DINNER WITH YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS IF YOU CAN"

Yeah I really wish to be home for Chinese New Year. Lots of things when you don't get it then you start to appreciate it and miss it. Wouldn't bother about whether you get ang pao or not.

This year, we had pot luck for reunion dinner and just now we didn't manage to stay up late and chit chat after the dinner because I was quite tired after classes and massive cooking in the kitchen plus tomorrow I have early morning class in the hospital as well. Anyway is fun. Earlier I called home, this year my house only 3 peoples having reunion dinner so not much food that my mom can cook because they can't finish it anyway.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone... Have a good RAT year...

Mua Zhi

First day of surgery posting, other than classes and introduction of surgery. I make mua zhi as well. Know what is that?



Finally is done... Everyone is trying... And it is nice.. haha...
It is going to be the desert for MSSNI CNY celebration.....

Middle of the Night

Now is half twelve midnight, I should sleep early because tomorrow or technically later I need to wake up at half seven to get to hospital by 9. I just bathed actually so don't feel sleepy yet even though is time to sleep. Earlier I went for Irish Gaelic dance which is fun and nice, I went after dinner. Good experience and get to know more people as well. The dance remind me lots of things that happened in the past...

Middle of the night, technically today will be my last day for my spring SSC. But I am not sure what am I going to do in the ward. Probably clerk few patient, look through their case notes and examine them. Don't think there will be any ward round, but there is teaching session in noon. So no half day for the last day.

Middle of the night, today is the last day for spring SSC, yet my mind didn't think about the SSC. I just surf internet aimlessly and decide to put the post.

Middle of the night, today is the last day for spring SSC, yet my mind didn't think about the SSC. There is lots lots of things came through my mind. All the memories last time even the memories back in Malaysia, my life in Malaysia for the past 20 years, my life few months ago in Belfast. There is lots lots of things in my mind. Lots of memories... Happy or Sad... Sweet or Bitter... Just everything in my mind now. Anyway, life without memory will be a zombie I think, so with memories maybe can motivate you, guide you or make you happy even sad sometime depend how you look at it.... Think back... life had changed... everything had changed.... nothing can stop and rewind back. Something when changed is changed... even though you want to change it back which will be impossible. So good to have changes in life or no changes at all? Positive side, changes can improve yourself or upgrade maybe. Negative side, ???? I don't really know... just lots of things change.... Should stop the changes in life topic here.